Friends? Well I only know a few personally. I’ve tried schmoozing – getting to know people from the things they say but all the while feeling a bit provincial, like I’m missing the inside joke. Or like I’ve come to the party in jeans and every one else is cocktail dresses.
Of course I know that it’s easy to exaggerate a feeling of isolation to yourself, you only have to look at school girls in the playground to know how easy it is for them to assume others are surely having more fun than them but I’d did feel daunted and a little left out. Not to mention downright ignored in some instances! lol
So after a few months I sent a section of those ‘friends’ that I didn’t know an private email. A brief intro, saying a little about myself and asking them about themselves. Essentially introducing myself, trying to be friendly.
In twenty four hours I had only four replies. Two directing me a link on their website where I could read their bio, the third directing me to their new facebook page and the fourth thankfully much more friendly from the lovely Australian author Vicki Lee-Vuat. (I knew there was something about Australians that I liked!!)
Despite the positive response from Vicki and the other 3 replies that left another twenty or so people I had yet to hear from. I tried to work out what I’d done wrong. Lots probably, or possibly nothing at all.
Someone suggested that the people I’d contacted were the top end authors with thousands on people on their Facebooks, too busy to reply.
So I looked at Vicki’s Facebook and saw she had 4998 friends so she could have had the same excuse as everyone else. In fact the other three who’d sent me links to their bio were also top end Facebookers with huge followings.
At this point I realised that while I might be making all sorts of mistakes contacting people in totally inept ways, the only people who weren’t making any mistakes were the people who took the time to reply.